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18 September 2006 @ 09:54 pm
Title: Loss
Character: Phillipa
Rating: G
A/N: Many thanks to lbilover for the beta and helpful suggestions!

Phillipa had a good life. She had a nice job as a cashier at the drug store, where she could be friendly and smile at people all day. She lived in a lovely house on a shady street. And she had a wonderful son, Eric, who was unfailingly polite to his elders and kind to animals. He always told the truth, and was helpful around the house. His grades sometimes crept up a little high, but readjusting his band usually helped.

Eric didn’t have a father, and Phillipa didn’t have a husband. She wondered about that sometimes, but thinking about it muddled her head, and it didn’t really matter anyway, she supposed.

Sometimes though, she felt as if she had misplaced something important, like her keys maybe. But no, they were always there in her purse right where they should be. Or maybe she forgot to pick something up at the grocery store. Well if it was that important, she would remember it later. But she never did. It would bother her a little, but that was too hard to think about, too, so she would just shrug and go on with her good life.

One day Phillipa was in the kitchen when she heard the doorbell ring.

“I’ll get it, Mom!” she heard her son call, followed by footsteps on the stairs.

A few minutes later, the sound of music drifted through the hallway. It was sweet and smooth and seductive, unlike any music she’d ever heard before, and yet it seemed like she had known it all her life. It drew her to the bottom of the stairs, like it was calling to her, and the tendrils of it twined around and through her, filling her mind, her soul until…

Suddenly she remembered. Everything, all of it: Harrison, Beethoven, Keaton, Shelley, Van Gogh. She remembered playing chess with Harrison, she remembered his eyes, his voice, his gentle hands, her own hands in his thick, unruly hair. She remembered art and music and film, passion and desire and love. She cried out with the beauty of it, that there could be so much creativity in the world, so much magnificence.

And then, it was gone.

It slipped away as quickly and completely as it had come, and she was left with nothing but an empty ache in her heart that she couldn’t understand. She touched the band on her head, wondering what had just happened, but all she could feel was a tremendous sense of loss, and all she could hear was the peculiar music coming from her son’s room.

Phillipa sat on the stairs and wept.
mews1945mews1945 on September 19th, 2006 10:51 pm (UTC)
Wow, that's so powerful.
Belleferret: harrison kissbelleferret on September 19th, 2006 11:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you Mews dear. And thank you for reccing this!
althea_ladyalthea_lady on September 20th, 2006 03:36 am (UTC)
This is so sad. How terrible to go through life with that vague sense of loss. How terrible to go through life without art, music, passion, or Harrison.
Belleferret: skepticalbelleferret on September 20th, 2006 11:28 am (UTC)
Hate and envy are terrible things. But eliminating art and love is not the way to avoid them. There must be a better way.
Keye Goodenough: Harrisonkeye on September 22nd, 2006 02:53 am (UTC)
I'm so behind with my reading and commenting, but had to stop here and just say how moving and powerful this is. Beautifully done. ♥
Belleferret: skepticalbelleferret on September 22nd, 2006 11:49 am (UTC)
Thank you Keye! HB is so endlesslly fascinating and thought-provoking, not to mention how adorable Sean is!